Crippled, You Say?

Crippled, You Say?

John Foley called himself a cripple. Not handicapped, not quadriplegic, not physically challenged, not disabled or even lame. John not only didn't mind the word crippled, he relished it.

"Let the wimps be politically correct," smiled Foley. "Me, I can handle crippled. I handled getting this way, I can sure handle living with it."

One reason Foley, John Franklin, Seaman Third Class, USN 1477862, joined the Navy was to see the world. Now that he lacked limbs, it'd just be a little harder. Or maybe easier since he wouldn't have to "Reveille!" at the sound of the bosun's pipe and put up with hangovers after Liberty.

Harder? Easier? If you only knew. Think it's easy when everything's done for you? That's bull. The more that's done for you theharderit is. Harder being aman. Man means independent, self-sufficient, self-sovereign,autonomous. How can you be all that while they spoon feed you, blow your nose, and wipe your arse?

John was twenty-four, out of the Navy, and had all sorts of compensation since he was immobilized while on Active Duty. His way of saying it was, "Become a Cripple and See the World!"

Now, John lies and thinks. He sits and thinks. He thinks while he sleeps and while he goes through his nightly, insomnia-post trauma trip. He thinks while the nurse wheels him around, while he's in Prosthesis getting measured for new parts: John thinks every second now. There's nothing else to do. It beats moping.

There was a time, right after the explosion, that John followed the teenage girl's credo: When in doubt, pout. But that got him nowhere so he switched to Wishful Thinking.Get wooden legs and claw-hook hands. My own boat. Sail around the world with no CO issuing orders, no Chief acting like God, not even a bosun piping to hit the deck before the sun's up. Yeah, get a boat, cruise the world, be aMAN.

He also went through the Bitter Scenario.Why me? Oh, God, I'm only twenty-three and all bunged up. I'm a centipede with no legs, how helpless! With no limbs, forget waltzing up Everest, forget even dancing!

Without arms, forget swimming across the Pacific, or even dog paddling a pond!

Sometimes he switched to Forceful.I'llhirea crew. Yeah, then Icansee the world Nurses can take me here, there, and everywhere. No dream, no fantasy. I have the money and the desire. That's all it takes. Yeah, by gum, Iwillsee the world, and onmyterms!

With that thought, Wunderlust took over. Instead of thinking, he let fantasy take over.I'll go to Scotland, see the land of my Celtic past, to Glouchester where the English captured my great grandfather nine generations ago. Yes, I'll visit that ill-fated battlefield first.John Foley let his mind sink into the scene.

..."You're nineteen now, lad. Time to be getting your own spread. The Highlands were made for the likes of you like as with the entire clan. But before you set out, you must helpThe Cause, because as long as the English are about they're a threat for sure, and that means there'll be no freedom in our beloved Highlands until they're routed.Thenonto crofting, lad."

...THERE'S NO MORE AMMUNITION! There's only so much a stout-hearted Scot can do for his Highlands, Sir. Aye, rifle butts, clubs and stones and all else I can grab, but still, ALL THAT BRITISH HELL-FIRE!

...Be thankful you have a choice, lad. You can stand before a firing squad or leave Scotland for good. What say you?

...LEAVE SCOTLAND FOR GOOD? If ever a Scot leaves , it's NEVER for GOOD. Might as well die now and fast than then and slow.

...To the American Colonies, seven years indentured, and after that, God be with you?

...Aye, there's always the chance you'll return. The Highlands will be here forever. Good-bye, dear Scotland!

Thank you, Grandpa, thank you forswallowing your Scottish pride.

...What torture is this, brother Shamus? You call this a ship forhumans? We treat our cattle better. And we have to cross the full breadth of the Atlantic Ocean like this? Oh, Scotland, Dear Mother Scotland...

...Ian, how did you do it? That Massachusetts,whoever heard such a name? Give me Strathcarron or Caithuess or at least Eddrachillis, but Massachusetts? And then Vermont and Xeter? Whoever heard the likes? And the blackflies and infernal mosquitoes, bloodsuckers no less than the heartless English. Aye, now I see why they wear red uniforms, to resemble all the blood they've let!

...Marry my daughter, you say? You have a mind to settle down in the

New World, then, lad? And your brother too, now? Two Foleys and two Muirs, now there's coupling. Father-in-law giving his two lassies to Freed Indentures: at least you're free though not in bonnie Scotland.

...Please don't remind me, Sir. But your daughter there, you know I'll take care of her as if shewere beloved Scotland herself.

...Foleys are good to their word, that I know. Watched you for seven years now and I give you my bonnie lass with confidence.

John Foley's mind cleared enough to say "Yes, I'll go to Scotland. And in deference to my great-grandfather and uncle and their brides, I'll visit Massachusetts and Vermont on the way. I'll make a regular pilgrimage." But his mind had tasted the fantastical and it slipped back easily.

...Cape Wrath, Durness, Loch Eriboll, oh, Tongue Bay and the town that gave you your name...Bettyhill, here I come...Strathy, Thurs...let me round Dunnet Head...not out too far, now, into the Pentland Firth, you don't want to end in the Orkneys, fine though they be...you need to scoot over to John o' Groats after passing Duncansby, you do. For now you can turn south and head deep into Morray Firth and the beloved Inverness.

...INVERNESS! INVERNESS! That's where it all began! And if you have a mind to, you can sail the length of the long loch, Ness, and travel all the way to Linnhe to the Firth of Lorn and then...

"Foley, John Franklin, Seaman, USN 1477862, is hereby granted a Medical Discharge. Purple Heart, Silver Heart, Gold Heart, you're foot loose and fancy free now, Foley, John Franklin!"

Foot loose -- by God, our feet are loose, all the way to the bottom of the sea. Paraplegics, quads --- ha! The torpedo might have taken our feet --and arms, and privates -- but it didn't take our hearts, eh ,Johnny boy?

"Right, Red. We're free to wander wherever our rainbow-metalled hearts desire. And where will you go first, you old swab jockey? Mt. Everest?

Damn betcha, Johnny boy! And I'll hump all the Tibetan girls who get within range of my stump,too! Where you going, my friend?

You can bet your sweet patoo it won't be the VA hospital! I'd rather drown in thebathtub than be a guinea pig for a Navy doctor!

That's it, Johnnyboy, give 'em Hell!

I'll stop and say Good Day to relatives at Inverness, then skirt the shore and visit Losslemouth and Buckie and Cullen and McDuff, itself! Ah, the Old Country's full of the names of history itself.

Now, here's another point to round: seems there's always a mass to

skirt in bonnie Scotland. Kinnaird Head, this one with its Fraserburgh, and on to another head, this one Peterhead. Ah, if Red and the guys on the Ward only heard that one!

But no one can make fun of Aberdeen, even if it does house Girdle Ness. That Nessie, she did get around, now, didn't she?

Stonehaven, Inverbervie, on to Montrose, Arbroath, and look out, Dundee, here I ome!

And to think that the MedicsthoughtI'd never leave that morgue-slab bed! Ha! I've got news for you, Pecker Checkers, I've got my Medical and I'm free to roam! To Hell with arms and legs and little things like that -- my SPIRIT is in full force!

If ever there was a place on earth that John Foley, free man, wanted to visit it, was Edinburgh. At the south of the Firth of Fourth -- how he loved the sound of that! -- the great town surrounded by the likes of Haddingtonk, Musselburgh, Da Keith, Penicuik, Morningside, and no seagoing free man could forget Queensferry.

...But Shamus, Scotland's a land of our past. Tis the present we're in. Don't you know the likes of us can never return?

...Maybe the likes of you, brother Ian. Sit here in the misery of your memories and the blackflies -- Scotland can be yours again!

...Forgive me, brother, but I so love our homeland that ICAN'Treturn: anything the English have touched is tainted forever.

...Scotland, ruined? Nowthat'sa never!

...The clans are dead, Shamus, haven't you heard?

...Aye, and many of the old ways, too. But the sod's still there, and just waiting for the return of you and me, Ian lad.

...For you, perhaps, dear Shamus, but I've a family now. I'm bound to them. To raise my children and see to their future. Only the memory of Scotland lives in me, brother. Go if you must, and God be with you. I'll follow in my heart, but my traveling days are over.

Ah, Grandpa Ian, I'm back now. It took four hundred years, but look, I'm at the field of Glouchester. Come with me and we'll sail the grand seas and hike the holy Highlands and fish the firths and lollygag in the lovely lochs. Oh, Grandpa, come with me, follow the man with no legs or arms. See, Grandpa, myheart'snot crippled, my heart's fullyfunctional!

"Time for Prosthesis, Mr. Foley."

"Prosthesis? You mean where I become the Bionic Man?"

"Exactly. And you've got the right attitude. To me, the Quad who's lost

his sense of humor has lost far more than his limbs. I have to hand it to you, John -- interesting phrase, considering -- hand it to you -- You and Red and What's-His-Name, the legless wonder there. It's guys like you that allow me to work here without getting depressed."

"What do you mean?"

"Would you believe that ninety percent of the 'Plegics' I've seen have given up? They rot in their own water. Their bung holes back up and all systems stop. With all respect, it might be better if they pulled their own corks. Leave the oxygen for the people whowantto breathe. But you guys, you fight and scrap and never say die. What's an arm here, leg there, or none at all? None of it keeps you hell-raisers from cutting a rug. Where'd you get such spirit?"

...The bagpipes, son, for he who's never heard the strain can only know pain...Tisn't a-screeching and a-howling like the pipe-deaf say...listen wth your heart and you'll hear every syllable God ever whispered over His Holy creatures ...and the land, Ian lad, tisn't dirt under your feet to be trod on blindly, tis the very body of God Himself. The Holy lover of life, itself. Cherish it, work it, ad protect it always with love in your heart, for the body of Scotland is Holy, indeed.

...The family, Ian lad, nowthat'sthe mother of it all. Whether you're in the Highlands or on a stinking English cattle boat or far-off Massachusetts or wherever you may be, Scotland is always alive if you just listen with your heart.

"I'm afraid, Nurse Sutherland, Angel that you are, that I'm going to spend the rest of my life like a Centipede always watching his legs. Damn strange, walking on pegs you can't feel, touching things with claws you can't feel, but all is well, isn't it? Icanget around, Icanfeed myself, and by God, Icanwipe my own arse! Though I must admit I haven't quite mastered that one since I get a sore bung now and again."

"You'll get the hang of it, Sailor. Just a matter of practice. But above all, it's a matter of keeping your spirits up."

...Keep up your spirits, Ian. The voyage won't last forever...

...Keep up yours spirits, Ian lad, tis only seven years...

...Keep up your spirits, Margaret. Your sister's leaving but you have me and the children. The family will pull through well enough...

...Keep up your spirits, boys, the life boat's coming...

...Keep up your spirits, John Foley, there're Sailors worse off than you.

Edinburgh, marvel that you are, I have returned. Backtrack to Dundee,

Aberdeen to Inverness, the Highlands of my ancestors. Far beyond Vermont and Massachusetts, the cattle boat, back before Glouchester... way back to where my heart was...where it is...where it was born and meant to be and will now stay forever.

Crippled, you say? HA!